blondie (Visitors: 717) 

School Daze Two college seniors had a week of exams coming up. They decided to party instead. Their biggest exam was on Wednesday and they showed up telling the professor that their car had broken down the night before due to a very flat tire and they needed a bit more time to study.
The professor told them that they could have another day to study. That evening, both of the boys crammed all night until they were sure that they knew just about everything. Arriving to class the next morning, each boy was told to go to separate classrooms to take the exam. Each shrugged and went to two different parts of the building. As each sat down, they read the first question. "For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom."
 At this point, they both thought that this was going to be a piece of cake, and answered the question with ease. Then, the test continued. "For 95 points, tell me which tire it was."

 Don't Mess With Little Girls

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reliterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went down?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

This could really happen .....

      This Could Really Happen...         

 President Bill Clinton was visiting an elementary school today and
when he visited a class in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word, "Tragedy." So our illustrious  leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next door, was playing in the street and a car came along and ran over him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says Clinton, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying 50 children
drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Mr. President. "That's what we would call GREAT LOSS."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer.
President Clinton searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, way in the back of the room, a small boy raises his hand.
In a quiet voice he says, "If Air Force One, carrying Mr. & Mrs. Clinton, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens,
 that would be a tragedy.
"Fantastic," exclaims Clinton, "that's right. And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss."